Storytime: The Handshake!
The Very True Story of Edwin and his Techniques
To say Edwin was eccentric was an understatement. As I recall, his home was truly unique. For example, his doorbell chimed Christmas tunes, even during the hot, humid months of summer in the Deep South. He charismatically refered to his home as Eddie-land and the bedroom was just as unique as the rest of his home. A permanent sling was attached to the four-poster bed and was specifically set up for fisting with strategically placed lube pods, paper towels, and a stool for the penetrating partner. But enough about Eddie-land—this story is about the handshake.
Before I'd even arrived, he'd messaged me on Adam4Adam and said, "Just ring the doorbell when you arrive. The door's unlocked, and you can come on in, but let me have some warning." I did as he had requested, and worked my way back past a huge pipe organ in his living room, a toy train that would make even Santa jealous, and some animatronic, life-sized, life-like reindeer that moved by motion sensor. Once inside the room, I noticed he was already in the sling and ready to go.
"I'm Edwin" he said. "Let me give you my famous handshake!".
I reached out to shake his hand and he said, "lube's right there" while pointing to a small tupperware container of what I assumed was Crisco. "I guess he's foregoing the handshake," I thought to myself as I dipped into the lube. I was a little nervous as this was my second-ever fisting session (my first had been at least five years prior to the date).
"I'll walk you through it!" he said as he started small talk about the organ and his eccentricities while coaching me to spread Crisco around his hole and start the "opening up" process. I did as was told, and eventually, I had three fingers in his eager hole.
"At this point, see if you can feel the ring—it's not made of the same stuff as everything else down there. It's harder. Put your three fingers on it and massage it—stretching it out from its contracted state." I continued with his instructions, rotating my hand with the three fingers pressing against the ring till I'd made several round trips. It then became four fingers and a repeat of the same streching technique I'd used moments ago with three fingers.
"Now make a scissoring motion with those fingers to increase the stretch, and just keep rotating while pushing gently in until the thumb also joins in. We are almost there."
"Where?" I replied.
"Pull your thumb into your palm and begin cupping your fingers at the knuckle... ...wa la! That's it!" In one fell swoop, he contracted his muscles and pulled my hand and wrist into his hole. "And that's the Edwin Handshake!" he said as he kegelled his hole around my wrist.