FIST CLUB

E X P E R I E N C E    T H E    V O R T E X

University

Science Topic

On the Road Again (Travel)

Playing Away from Home

Publication Details

Author: Finn Vortex

Published: 31 May 2020

Duration: 10 Minutes

Quick Links / Topics in this Article

Safety | Amenities and Accoutrements | Local and Remote Events

Executive Summary

Standards and guidelines for fisting at locations outside your own home. Includes host/guest responsibilities, safety protocols, group behavioral standards, a variety of packing lists (from single session day bags to remote event preparations), and suggestions for improving your experience at group fisting events.

Host or Travel

The phrase 'Host or travel?' should not be new to anybody that has ever hooked up previously for sex. With fisting, the dynamics are slightly different due to both clean out and clean up.

VOCABULARY

Host or Travel?

  1. phrase in hookup culture, a question asked to determine where the copulatory act will occur

In addition to factors common to any hookup (such as relationships, distance, timing, etc), a few additional items affect who should host and who should travel. For example,

  • The Bottom may want to host so that he has access to his douching facilities.
  • One party has a playroom or sling to accommodate the uniqueness of fisting. Conversely, a hotel room may not be conducive to a fun session.
  • A typical host may pass if previous experiences indicate the play partner to be inconsiderate or messy (lube gets everywhere if you aren't careful).

Regardless of either role as host or guest, basic practices and standards apply to keep everyone safe and content.

Safety

Vetting Play Partners

Vetting your play-partner in advance is an important component of building trust, improving fisting experiences, and staying alive.

There are two reasons to vet your playmate prior to a session:

  1. It can be difficult to accurately distinguish between individuals with malicious intent from awkward individuals who just want to connect. Three gay serial killers, John Wayne Gacy, Gary Ray Bowles, and Jeffery Dahmer appeared normal and even likeable to their victims.
  2. It can also be difficult to evaluate if a potential playmate is equipped to handle an accident. He doesn't have to be a psychopath to freak out and abandon you in time of need (see the case study below).

Tools such as Asspig certifications and FFister endorsements can help you gain insight. If using those apps, be leery of men with exclusively old or a very limited number of reviews.

Memberships in social media fisting groups can help you learn more about playmates and their engagement in the community.

Assumptions made from certifications or social media postings are only assumptions. Profiles, posting, and certifications may not tell you much, but they can trigger red flags. It is safest to engage in some type of additional conversation to establish the veracity your playmate before travelling to his place or hosting him inside your home.

Certs: Helpful or Not?
Serial Killer Certifications

Making assumptions from profiles or postings can be dangerous. Use them as a first line of vetting to trigger conversation prior to hooking up.

Risk Management

Several online apps or services such as bsafe or kitestring can help monitor your safety and share your location with others if needed. Alternatively, a low-cost solution to these apps is to inform your guest or host that at least one friend is keeping tabs on you. This can be directly or indirectly.

For example, you can arrange to have a friend call within the first few minutes of the session. A very brief conversation with that friend will indirectly let your partner that people know where you are. Or you can be direct and tell your playmate that you have to check in with a friend prior to the session to let them know that you are 'getting some FFun!'

If those options make you uncomfortable or seem awkward, send at least one text from your host location to provide an electronic trail in the event something does go wrong.

iPhone Alarm
Smart Phone Alarms: Quick & Dirty 'DL' Solution

If you are on the down low and can't call a friend to let them know you are fisting, set an alarm with a ring tone. Answer it with a quip: 'I'll call you back later!'

Case Study: The Fatal Consequences of Not Vetting Playmates

Give Me a Tall Latte and an Ambulance

To say Emerson was a little crazy was an understatement. Rational people rarely repeated a fisting session with him due to his almost universal breaches in every category of trust. Unfortunately, James was unaware of his reputation.

The fisting date started out normal enough (less a few eccentricities), but eventually turned sour. People would later whisper that the demise was due to drug use coupled with and an overabundance of poppers, but the truth remained hidden from the general public.

Emerson and James' session was well underway when Emerson accidentally perforated the intestine. Complications led to a drop in blood pressure and ensuing cardiac arrhythmia. Normal people would call 911, but not Emerson. He showered, packed his gear, vacated the premise, went to Starbucks, ordered a latte, and called 911 from a distance (as being caught at a fisting death would be too much for his wife to handle).

In the meantime, James passed away. He had told his friends previously (in jest) that he wanted to die while fisting—sadly his wish came true!

Amenities and Accoutrements

Provisions

When both parties of a fisting session are local, the host should provide most accoutrements and amenities; however, responsibilities may vary based the following items: fisting roles (top or bottom), the distance/time the guest travelled, experience levels of the participants, and finally agreements between regular playmates.

General fisting etiquette dictates:

  • Bottoms provide their own lube, and the tops that only play with gloves provide their own, well-fit gloves. Lube and gloves are examples of role-based responsibilities.
  • Hosts provide a clean play space, touch-up and post-play clean-up facilities, and basic fisting materials. These three things are examples of location-based responsibilities.
  • Regular playmates cost-share the responsablity for supplies.

The following matrix indicates standards that are followed by most fisters.

Provision Responsibility Matrix
 

Local Host

w/ Any Guest

Visiting Host

w/ Local Traveler

Visiting Host

w/ Visting Traveler

Local Traveler

w/ Visiting Host

Local Traveler

w/ Local Host

Top Bottom
Hand Soap        
Gloves [A]          
Poppers [B]    
Salt and/or Dish Soap      
Lube            
Nail Prep Kit            
Paper Towels or Rags    
Pads or Play Sheets    
Shower Facilities        
Douche Bulb/Nozzle            
Clean Linens and Towels    
Table 1.1: Provision Responsibility Matrix

This matrix involves both role-based (top or bottom) and location-based (host or travel) responsibilities. For reference, traveler represents the individual that is not hosting. Visitor indicates individuals that at least 100 kilometers distant from their home. Visitors can be hosts (in their hotel room) or travelers.

  1. The party that requires gloves is the party that provides gloves. Bottoms that require gloves should keep several sizes in stock.
  2. Typically, the individual using the poppers provides the poppers. Exceptions may occur with visitors who are unable to bring poppers on trips due to local travel laws or restrictions.
Legend

  Optional

  Strongly Encouraged

  Conditional

  Appreciated

  Required

Detailed List Explanation

There are multiple conditional designations and a few general exceptions to the responsibilities. Three specific variances include: newbies (novice or virgin fisters), visiting hosts, and actual travel details.

  • Most newbies don't know the provisional responsibilities and are very unaware of the properties of good fisting lube. Many will provide traditional anal/vaginal sex lubes, and if they do provide lipid or polymer-based lubes, they won't have the pads and paper towels that limit messes.
  • Visiting hosts (usually on business trips) may not have access to supplies and are unlikely to modify their hotel showers for douche hoses. They may also have been unable to travel with poppers.
  • Travelers that traverse long distances or stop by after a day's work experience similar issues to visiting hosts. They may not have the ability to tote supplies around all day prior to the session.

Regardless of the three circumstances above, it is best to bring a fully stocked supply bag.

Packing Lists

The following lists provide examples of items to pack for various situations.

Local Session (Pre-Planned)

Purpose: All-inclusive list for a local session

Assumptions: Only minor/slight touch-ups needed

Bag Size: Small Rucksack/Backpack

Dimensions:

  • Centimeters: 45 X 30 X 20
  • Inches: 17 X 12 X 8

Local Session (Unplanned)

Purpose: Short list for unplanned sessions

Assumptions: Host has clean-out facilities

Bag Size: Toiletries Bag (keeps inside gym bag or car)

Dimensions:

  • Centimeters: 13 X 25 X 8
  • Inches: 5 X 10 X 3
Alternative Lists:

Local Fisting Event (Group)

Purpose: Extensive list for longer group sessions

Assumptions: Touch-ups only | Event provides limited supplies

Bag Size: Overhead Roller Bag

Dimensions:

  • Centimeters: 56 X 35 X 23
  • Inches: 22 X 14 X 9

Remote Fisting Event (Group)

Purpose: Packing list and remote purchase list

Assumptions: Modifying hotel plumbing for clean-out

Bag Size: Standard Suitcase

Dimensions:

  • Centimeters: 69 X 53 X 36
  • Inches: 27 X 21 X 14

Packing and Gear Tips

These tips can help your travel bags stay clean and organized.

Wax Paper
Wax Paper

Use wax paper to provide an extra seal on your lube containers.

Alternatively, you can use plastic wrap, but plastic is bad for the environment, and it can harbor harmful microbial life (such as Hepatitis C) longer than paper.

Ziplock Baggies
Ziplock Baggies

Pack extra ziplock bags (gallon and quart size) for emergency use.

Empty bags can be used to separate wet or sticky gear from the remainder of the items in your travel bag.

Socks & Underwear
Socks & Underwear

Include a fresh pair of socks and underwear for after the session.

Socks, jocks, and underwear worn during a session can get wet and sticky with lube. Stay dry for the trip home.

Listerine (Mouthwash)
Travel Size Listerine®

Not only can it freshen your breath, it can help dissolve polymer-based lubes and remove unpleasant odors in the event you hit paydirt.

Although unlikely to leak, store in a ziplog bag for extra protection.

Douche Tools
Douching Tools

In a pinch, you can use a plastic water bottle; however, this method doesn't guarantee a clean hole.

Purchase a portable shower shot and spare douche nozzle for your bag.

Larger douche bulbs such as the Colt® Bum Buddy can help for touch-ups if this isn't an option.

Protective Barriers
Protective Barriers

Although you may never use them, gloves, finger-cots, and condoms lay flat and take up little space.

Unless you have extra-large hands, pack medium/large gloves. Use finger-cots as an alternative to gloves if you have cuts on your fingers.

Rotate old items out at least twice a year.

Degreasing Agents
Degreasing Agents

Include tools to help remove lube: salt, Dawn®, hair conditioner; shower loofas, and silicone scrubbing pads.

Make sure to double-bag salts and liquids and single bag wet tools.

Prevent mold growth by airing out your bag after returning home.

Paper Towels
Paper Towels

Twenty-five sheets of paper towels is sufficient for flipping twice with your partner.

Remove from the bulky roll, tightly roll, and wrap with wax paper and rubber bands.

A course in aftercare can help you decrease your effect on the environment.

Inventory Checklist
Inventory Checklist

It's easy to forget your harness, jockstrap, ballcap or other accoutrements from your travel bag.

You might get chided for being anal, but it might be worth it to keep control over your gear.

Local and Remote Events

Throughout the world, there are many venues and several events that play host to fisting parties. There are also events dedicated strictly to fisting. Knowing the code of conduct and managing your expectations will make these events most pleasurable to you.

Code of Conduct

Although group fisting etiquette applies to any event, there are other things to consider:

Drug Usage & Sobriety

You may encounter individuals that are under the influence of psychotropic substances at an event—especially if the event literature does not ban use.

There are three types of events you may encounter:

  • Sober Events — These events prohibit all psychotropic substances in both public and private spaces. You may be asked to leave if you violate the event's rules or appear to be under the influence.
  • Mixed Events — These events allow some psychotropic substances, typically limited to pot, poppers, and alcohol. If private use affects your behavior in public areas, you may be asked to leave.

  • Open Events — These events have no restrictions but typically expect consumption to occur discretely. If consumption affects the health of yourself or others detrimentally, you may be asked to leave.

Know your event rules prior to attendance. Major events typically host meetings for those in recovery.

VOCABULARY

Psychotropic Substances

  1. noun Any chemical substance that acts primarily upon the central nervous system where it alters brain function, resulting in temporary changes in perception, mood, consciousness and behavior.
  2. noun — colloquial Any party drug except alcohol, poppers, and marijuana.

Cultural Differences

Landmarks

Not all cultures act the same. These differences can span continents, countries, regions, and even local fisting enclaves. Observe and respect these differences. When in doubt, follow the lead of your sponsor or host.

For example, several cultures have societal rules on personal space. Violating the spatial boundaries may result in unnecessary tension.

Photography

Most events have a specific policy regarding photography. When filming is allowed, ask for permission from everyone being recorded. If you plan to post your scenes online, acquire release forms from participants.

Sample Release Form

Photography Studio
Shooting Deep

Always ask for permission to film

Cleanliness, Courtesy, & Consent

Cleanliness

For larger events, clarify in advance the venue's touch-up facilities. Full clean-outs are not appropriate in public facilities at the actual venue. For smaller, more intimate events, verify with the host what facilities are available prior to arriving.

Decrease the spread of viral, protozoan, fungal, and bacterial infections. Between every play partner, wash hands, arms, elbows, shoulders, and toys.

Disinfect your play area prior to and after your session. This includes wiping down sex furniture with provided cleansers. It also includes utilizing pads and newspaper to minimize the impact of lube outside the bottom's hole. Dispose of all waste products generated during your session.

Courtesy

Sling Slang: Variants

Taking up near-permanent residence in a sling at a fisting party or event can result in permanent labelling and a lack of invites to future parties.

Respecting others gains respect in return:

  • Maintain your commitments. If you set up a play date, don't cancel for a better opportunity. It's often best not to commit to anything at all.
  • Do not monopolize slings, benches or play spaces. Perceptions are key. If you are in a sling for more than 65% of the party, especially when others are waiting to use it, you might be branded a sling slug, sling lizard, or sling rat. This can decrease your invites to future events.
  • If staying at a hotel, tip the staff well for dealing with your in-room shenanigans and bio-hazardous waste.

Consent

Always seek consent before and throughout a session. For example, if you are going to push past the second ring, make sure the bottom is aware that is what you are doing. An event is no place for injury.

Personal Interactions

At a fisting event, everybody is there for the same thing: to fist. The normal banter, double-entendre, and investigation into a potential partner's proclivities is usually unnecessary.

It is typical that most attendees are likely to socialize with anybody at the event; however, this does not necessarily mean they want to fist with you. Be direct and ask for a play session. If declined, avoid making a scene. If declining, don't be a douche.

Forming cliques is so Mean Girls, but it happens. Blow them off. Make an effort not to replicate similar behavior.

And last, but not least, some behaviors are always wrong: harassment, stalking, shunning, and rape.

Mean Girls[1]

Expectations for Fisting Events

Film Poster: Great Expectations

Coming Soon