Art & Science

Fisting Etiquette

Unspoken Behavioral Guidelines of Fisting

Publication Details

Author: Finn Vortex

Published: 03/15/2018

Updated: 03/15/2018

Duration: 15 Minutes

Quick Links / Topics in this Article

Location Etiquette | Role Etiquette | Group Etiquette

Executive Summary

List of basic guidelines and etiquette to follow when fisting. Breakout guidelines are included for specific locations, roles, and group scenes.

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The Real Rules of Fist Club

There are eight rules of Fist Club are posed on the overview page for this website. These rules are mostly parody of Fight Club. Below are a few rules (or etiquette guidelines) for fisting that are generally accepted by fisters worldwide.

Although it's not mentioned in the numbered rules and guidelines below, the primary objective of any session is that it be natural and organic. Following strict guidelines can kill the fun and flavor of fisting. With that in mind, the guidelines listed here should be weaved into your session from initial contact, through foreplay, first insertion and finally orgasm.

Location Etiquette

Section introductory text goes here (currently in development).


Once your guest has arrived, follow these guidelines:

  1. Offer Fluids Before, During, and After SessionDouching, poppers, and lube all cause dehydration. Keep your playmates in the mood by keeping them hydrated.

  2. Offer Hand-Washing FacilitiesYour guest has touched a thousand things since he started his journey to your place. Avoid spreading contaminants by allowing him to wash up with soap and/or hand sanitizer.

  3. Offer Touch Up and Post Play Clean-up FacilitiesYour guest may be coming from a long distance, work, or other engagements. He may need a shower and a clean towel to touch up and clean up prior to and after play. Discuss in advance if it is okay for him to fully douche at your place.

  4. Clean Your Play SpacePrior to his arrival, clean up your play space. A few things can really break trust and kill the mood—hoarding and filth both come to mind.

  5. Provide Basic Provisions and FacilitiesAt a minimum, you should be prepared to provide clean towels. Discuss with guests any other supplies you will be provide so they can supplement if necessary. Some common discussion points include lube, gloves, de-lubing materials (salt or shampoo), poppers, and douche/touch up facilities (including shower shots).

  6. Cleary Identify House RulesYou should do this for the basics (drugs, safety, neighbor/roommate considerations) prior to your guest arriving. You can expand on additional rules after your guest has arrived—but don't be over burdensome our douchey about it.


Having arrived at your host's play space, follow these guidelines:

  1. Follow House RulesYour host has been kind enough to invite you into his home and play spaces. Don't take advantage of his hospitality or you'll never come back. It's also a good idea to only enter into invited areas.

  2. Clean Play Space After SessionBeing a slob is just plain inconsiderate. It's a good idea to leave the play space cleaner than before you started. At party venues, you usually agree to this requirement in order to be admitted.

  3. Ask Permission To Use Playroom AccoutrementsEven though you may be okay with sharing, your host may not be. Sharing insertables such as douches, toys, and lube can spread STIs. Your host may not be comfortable doing so. It's also of incredibly poor taste to ask the host to provide poppers, pot, or party favors.

  4. Don't Use Mind/Body Altering Substances Without PermissionUsually poppers are okay, but it doesn't hurt to ask when setting up a session. Follow the house rules on all other drugs. Be honest about using—your host may not be tolerant of such substances or may be in recovery and would prefer to steer clear of situations that might cause relapse.

  5. Wash Your Hands After ArrivingIt's always hot to make out at the door, but seriously... wash your hands before playing handball. Your steering wheel, your pet, the metro handrail, and the door knob are all great sources of contamination.

  6. Bring Your Own Play/Overnight BagGranted, your host should provide the essentials such as clean towels and play pads, but they may not. Additionally, you need a place to carry your lube, poppers, douche/douche nozzles and other gear.

  7. Leave When AskedDon't overstay your welcome. Call it quits if there isn't a connection. If invited to leave, do so without making a fuss.

Role Etiquette

Section introductory text goes here (currently in development).

Joint (Top & Bottom)

The following guidelines should be followed regardless of your position as Top or Bottom:

Before Play Starts

  1. Disclose STI and Recent Sexual HistoryIt's safe to assume your partner is not playing safely. In addition to revealing your own sexual history, you should discuss HIV status (specifically asking about strains B and AE, as well as most recent viral load count [Undetectable (B) means Untransmittable (B)]). Reveal your hepatitis vaccinations/boosters and last screening for Hepatitis C. Considerate players also include a glimpse into their own sexual proclivities, practices, and history. This can be done in serious conversation or as part of your sexual banter. For example, you might say: 'I was a slut last week and took twelve fists up my fistchute, eleven dicks in my breedhole, ten loads up my asshole... ...five golden showers... and a deep fisting up to the pit.'

  2. Identify the Session's Hole Goals Don't start fisting without knowing boundaries, limitations, and skillsets (virgin, novice, knowledgeable, expert). Knowledge of each other's fisting appetites (speed, depth, girth/width, pistons, and punches) increases sensuality during play. Finally, review any previous injuries.

  3. Discuss Kodak Moments It's fun to make amatuer porn; however, your partner may be the governor or have presidential aspirations. Ask if photos/videos are okay and if so, what should and should not be included in the photo (faces, birth marks, tats, etc.).

  4. Define Approved SubstancesBe considerate of your partner's desires. Fisting while on hallucinogens and uppers is risky for both parties. Fisting on relaxers or depressants is less risky but deserves the same scrutiny as stimulants. While most sessions include poppers, clarify if-and-when popper/inhalant use is okay. For example, many fisters don't use while topping. While sharing poppers/pot/drugs is not usually a big deal, relying on your partner to be the pharmacy is a douche move.

During a Play Session

  1. Seek and Provide Constant FeedbackUse body language, eye contact, non-verbal vocalizations (grunts, groans, snorts, etc.), and words to communicate pleasure, pain, and instruction. Only fist in silence when sitting next to a police officer while on public transport or while in church.

  2. Quit If It Isn't RightSometimes, there just isn't a connection that facilitates good play. Stop if you are are sexually incompatible. Sometimes a hole won't act what the way it normally does. Don't force it. Listen to and obey your body (or his body) to avoid unnecessary injury. If a session ends early, do not shame your partner.

  3. Take Regular BreaksSimply put, pause every now and then when needed by either partner.

  4. Avoid Risks Based on SkillsetsTwo virgins or novices should not be attempting elbow-depth insertions or double-wide punching. Even the deepest and widest fisters know their limits and restrict play based on those limits. When pushing boundaries, always acquire consent for each new level of play.

After Play Ends

  1. Provide AftercareThere are two basic protocols: clean up the Bottom and help him onto his feet. Beyond that, other aftercare is optional but often the icing on the cake. This includes things such as cuddling, touch, and joint showers. Remember to follow your partner's lead (for example, I often don't want others touching my ass after a session ends, even for clean-up).

  2. Notify Players of Newly Diagnosed STIsIf you test positive for an infection after a play session, call and let your partner know.

  3. Follow the First Rule of Fist ClubDon't talk about the event without express permission. This includes sharing/posting photos, videos, and stories, especially if they contain identifying details.


Those taking a fist should follow these guidelines:

Before Play Starts

  1. Come as Clean as PossibleRemember that shit happens, but don't expect your Top to be patient with an extremely shitty hole. If necessary, adjust your diet if possible to accommodate specifics to your session.

  2. Bring Your Own EquipmentSupply your own nozzle or douche bulb for clean out or touch up. If travelling, make sure to ask if the host has a shower shot (or not) so that you bring the right equipment. Ask if it's appropriate to do a full clean out at his house.

  3. Discuss Hole GoalsIt's your responsibility to convey limitations (depth, width, speed, piston, and punch), preferences (gloves, lubes, poppers, etc.), allergies (latex, clove, coconut), boundaries (other sexual activities, protection, additional players) and expectations.

  4. Supply Your Own LubeIf you want to decrease the chances of cross contamination or if you want to guarantee it hasn't spoiled, bring your own lube. It's literally the only way to make sure it isn't tainted (pun intended).

During a Play Session

  1. Give FeedbackThe Top needs to know what is going on inside your head and your hole.

After Play Ends

  1. Accept His AftercareSometimes it's more for him than it is for you.


For those of you pummeling holes, follow these guidelines

Before Play Starts

  1. Do Not Flake OutThis is true always, but especially at the last minute. Sometimes it takes a Bottom hours to clean out or days of a modified diet. Cancelling last minute is extremely inconsiderate. Please note that a Bottom may need to cancel at the last minute because his hole isn't cooperating with the clean-out process well.

  2. Trim Your NailsTrim your nails tighter than you've ever trimmed before. Bring a nail file for touch up. Present your hands to the Bottom for approval. Hint: brush the tips of your fingers across your tongue lightly. If you can feel the nails, they are too sharp.

  3. Discuss Warm Up RoutineSome Bottoms like a lot of hole play (manipulation/massage of the first ring) before taking the entire fist. Others find this play extremely agitating. Ask in advance how much hole play is appropriate. A guy may feel like his hole was raped or he may wear out prematurely if you do not ask in advance and follow his desires.

During a Play Session

  1. Wash Your Hands Every Time You Switch HolesYou should have washed prior to entering the first hole of the session to remove contaminants from pets, keys, door knobs, etc. You should also wash up after breaks and when switching holes in group play.

  2. Don't Mix Lube from Other Holes/PlayersLube can carry hepatitis from one hole to another. Avoid mixing lube and holes, even when chariot fisting.

  3. Make Shit CasualA little brown may happen—don't make a big deal out of it. Bottoms are generally uber concerned about it, and a big scene will shut them down. A lot of brown is grounds for termination of the session. Note that the deeper you go, the likelier you are to find traces—adjust your tolerance threshold accordingly. Likewise, make body functions such as piss and gas casual.

  4. Remember You Are Not In ControlOnce your fist completely enters his chute, you are no longer calling the shots. Obey the Bottom. It's his hole. It's his health. It's his life. Negotiate in advance any bondary pushing.

After Play Ends

  1. Clean Up the BottomAmong all etiquette tips and advice, this is official protocol. Clean the lube off his ass prior to standing him up. In some cases, the Bottom may not want your assistance—leave his ass sloppy and slippery.

  2. Help the Bottom UpThis is also official protocol. His legs may be weak after all that pounding. Help him up or out of the sling.

Group Etiquette

Section introductory text goes here (currently in development).

  1. Test for STIs in AdvanceTest about two weeks prior to an event to allow for diagnosis and treatment if necessary. After testing, play safer to guarantee no change is status prior to the event.

  2. Do Not Interrupt a SessionIf somebody is playing and in the zone, steer clear. Allow the Top(s) or Bottom(s) to bask in the moment.

  3. Ask to Join or to Watch Up CloseIf somebody is in a semi-private place at a group event and you want in on the action, ask both players if it's okay to join. If you are the players, don't take offense—especially since you are playing in an open area (even if it is semi-private).

  4. Keep Sidebar Conversations to the SideIf you are an audience member or a secondary participant, avoid talking about last week's Sunday School lesson, Aunt Helen's lemon bar recipe, who really deserved the Oscar, or the bad comb-over on the guy who just walked by.

References / See Also

The following source materials provided content (direct quotes or research data) for this page:

  • None

Update History

These updates have been made to this page:

  • 03/31/2018: Published.

Planned enhancements for this page include the following items:

  • Add additinal graphics where applicable.